Parenting a spectrum of girls

Countdown

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M & A dancing, posing, being silly

I can’t wait for the school year to be over!  I don’t think I have ever said that before.  While I am not a mom to look forward to my kids going off to school in the fall or dread them being home for the summer (on the contrary, I love the extra time with them, not to mention sleeping past 6am some days), K has always loved school so we didn’t count down the days.  Until this year.

M is really struggling.  I am pretty sure it is because she knows the end of the school year is coming up, and for a child who needs routine like air, that causes a lot of anxiety.  First of all, the routine changes a lot at the end of the year.  There is field day, a field trip, a day to visit her classroom for next year and a lot of other “specials” that just upset her.  Then there is knowing that school will be over which brings a ton of uncertainty and change.  She won’t see her teacher or para pro, and she loves them very much.  She won’t see the kids in her class, and a couple are actually kinda friends now.   She will have to go to work (daycare) with me, and the schedule and teachers are variable and it lacks the routine of a school day.  (Actually right now I have a very real fear that she will run away from daycare this summer…I am taking the rest of the week after her last day of school off to give her time to rest and adjust.). Then it starts all over in the fall with a new teacher, new aide, new classmates.

So right now every morning I have to dress her and drag her out the door and into the school, while the whole time she cries and threatens and melts down about not wanting to go to school.  She is not eating well anymore (she only wants junk food & is usually a great eater) and fights me on every little thing, asking me why I am so mean and why no one loves her or likes her.  She also has a long-term sub in computers which has really upset her (her teacher had a baby).  She used to like computers only, then computers & art, now just art.  She hates gym & especially music (sensory overload, anyone?)

I am ready to stop the daily fight to go to school.  Of course, getting her to stay with her group at daycare when I am right across the hall (I work with the infants & toddlers) will be even more difficult.  School has been good for her…I am glad I let her psychologist talk me out of my desire to home school (I.e. shelter) her…I didn’t want her to have to deal with all of the stress of a traditional school…but she has actually made a couple of friends (though not under her terms because she says you are only friends if you never disagree, which is why she only has one friend) and grown so much, learning to read, ride a bike & tie shoes all in the last month or so, as well as grow in so many other areas.

She seems to have found a new interest that helps calm her, though.  True to herself, like most of her obsessions this one is a song.  Last time it was Taylor Swift’s “Santa Baby” (in June!) Which grew to everything Taylor Swift.  Before that it was the Beatles, particularly the “Abbey Road” album.  This time, however, I am less pleased with her choice.  I really don’t want to hear it over & over because every time I hear it it takes forever to get it out of my head…and it isn’t even that good.  I provided a link so you can see for yourself, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.  It sure better help her calm down, or I’m going to pretend I can’t find it anymore!

The worst obsession yet…

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